I mentioned in the last post, that often I feel like a nerd. A dork. A woman flying by the seat of her pants in terms of trying to co-parent with someone who is not all that interested in co-parenting.
At first, I thought I'd be a rather lousy example of someone with the title "Co-Parent". But then, I read a few posts by other divorced parents who want to do what is right by their kids, and seek cooperaton for the sake of their children, but who run up against ex-spouses who are bent on making things more difficult than necessary. Some divorced couples almost seem to want to fight for the sake of the fight.
It's my current belief, that no matter how much of a loner you feel like, (an underdog even), and no matter how much your child's other parent or step-parent resists communicating and working things out in a positive way, we still must push ahead.
Basically, suck it up.
Put on a Kamikaze helmet and dive right in to doing the right thing for your kid. Alone if you have to.
Someday it'll pay off. It has begun to for me. All those years of biting my lip, standing down from petty power-plays and arguments, and turning the other cheek is working for me, and more importantly, for my kids. They are turning out beautifully, if I do say so myself, and somewhat unscathed. My own friends and family, and so many others have been doubtful of my non-combative tendencies and my crazy desire to avoid conflict--so many times people told me "you are the mother! Fight back! Defend yourself! Stick up to them and DEMAND your rights!" Often, I wondered if they were right. I doubted myself and wondered if standing down made me weak spirited, a pansy, a doormat, a wimp.
But now I know I did the right thing. It all comes out in the wash. Good DOES trump bad when all is said and done... my 17 year old daughter summed it up beautifully last week.
And that's a story in itself. so stay tuned. It might make you cry.
For now, here is that radio show I didn't think I deserved to be a part of. Turns out, it doesn't always take a cooperative spouse to Co-Parent: